Tavern talk: Worst game managers

I’ve been getting a few requests to do another podcast with Bill Simmons. Well, I’m always available, but Simmons has been busy. He has a new book coming out, and he’s been in Cleveland attending the National Sports Collectors Convention, taking some great photos of things no one would never need but would love to buy. (The Gilligan’s Island Cards looked tempting, considering that Ginger’s real-life daughter, Caprice Crane, has become my new favorite novelist; read her books, she’s very funny). Since Bill’s schedule is full, I thought I’d assist him for the upcoming NFL season, a season that no longer features the master of game management — Herman “Let’s Build Something Together” Edwards.

Last year, the firing line ended the Edwards era in Kansas City. Does this mean there’s no one to follow this year for our Tavern Throwback series, where we examine and critique game management on Tuesdays? No chance. As long as there are games, there are lessons to learn in game management. Losing Edwards was a huge blow, but today I’m offering my countdown of top-five bad game mangers for the upcoming season to give Simmons a quick reference point when he’s ready to dive back into the NFL.

APSean Payton

5. Sean Payton: Sean doesn’t mismanage games as much as he lacks an ability to close them out. Last year, the Saints lost five games by a combined total of 13 points. Losing too many close games will cause you to re-evaluate how you approach game management. If the Saints excel in this area this year, they might be hosting a NFC Championship game. If they improve in this area, they will be tough to beat with that offense.

4. Andy Reid: I can’t understand how a coach as smart as Reid, who has won as many games as he has in Philadelphia (107, including playoffs) can manage games with such a carefree attitude. His overtime tie in Cincinnati is legendary in terms of game management. He often had Jim Johnson to bail him out, but now, unfortunately Jim isn’t there, so this might be worth watching.

3. Brad Childress: This year, the Vikings are going to have better special teams, which won’t make any difference to Childress. Last year, he acted as if his coverage teams could make plays when they couldn’t. Each time he ordered the punt team on the field last season, Vikings fans held their collective breath.

APAndy Reid

2. Dick Curl: I know, I know. Curl isn’t a head coach, but he was the No. 2 man in Herm Edwards’ regime and is now the No. 2 man (by title, he’s the assistant head coach) in St Louis. Steve Spagnuolo is loyal to his former coach and loves Curl, but he if chooses to listen to him on game day, he’s taking a huge risk. Someone was giving Edwards advice, and that person was Curl. Spags cannot make this mistake as well.

1. Marvin Lewis: I was going to put Marvin lower on this list until I received an incredible email from Sjgmoney, a loyal reader of the site. He made such a compelling argument for why Marvin needs help in this area that it was hard to ignore. Steve admits losing money from betting on Marvin, but his breakdown is not that of a bitter man, just a careful analysis of how Lewis ruined his chances. Allow me to introduce his evidence from a game at the end of the 2006 season. The following is from his email:

As we all knew it would be, the way it always is when you have a lot of money riding on it, the game was a close one. Cincy trailed 7-3 at the half, but took the lead early in the 4th quarter after Palmer hit Chris Henry on a jailbreak special for a 66-yard TD. The Steelers came right back though and took a 14-10 lead with 7 minutes to go. The Bengals would not quit and they took almost 5 minutes to drive 73 yards for the go ahead score, and with 2:54 left they led 17-14. The Steelers started on their own 17 but only needed 3 plays to reach the Bengals 28 yard line as the clock stopped for the two minute warning. Let's pick up the play-by-play (in bold) right here:

Two-Minute Warning

1-10-CIN 28 (1:58) B.Roethlisberger pass short right to D.Kreider to CIN 17 for 11 yards (J.Joseph).

1-10-CIN 17 (1:23) W.Parker left tackle to CIN 17 for no gain (L.Johnson).

Timeout #1 by CIN at 01:17.

Obvious timeout by Cincy, as Pittsburgh has at the very least a chip shot FG try coming and you need to save some time on the clock for your own drive.

2-10-CIN 17 (1:17) B.Roethlisberger pass incomplete to W.Parker.

3-10-CIN 17 (1:12) (Shotgun) B.Roethlisberger pass incomplete to S.Holmes.

Wow, what a nice break, two incompletions, plenty of time left on the clock and still two timeouts left for your own drive. Wrong.

Timeout #2 by CIN at 01:07

What? … He called a timeout, I can't believe he called a timeout. To ice the kicker on a 34 yard FG!!!!!! Are you kidding me? The clock was already stopped for the incompletion. Picture me yelling this, YELLING THIS, as I give play-by-play to one of my friends (who doesn't have Sunday Ticket) on the phone. Let's not even get into the fact that I think icing the kicker is one of the stupidest things coaches do. All it does is allow them to catch their breath and get all set up without even worrying about a play clock. I'd much rather make them run onto the field and at least feel rushed. But to waste a timeout here, when you still have a chance to win the game and you are going to want to have as many timeouts as possible, is unconscionable (and unconscious). Critical mistake #1

4-10-CIN 17 (1:07) J.Reed 35 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-G.Warren, Holder-C.Gardocki.

Of course the kick is good, score is now 17-17.

J.Reed kicks 70 yards from PIT 30 to CIN 0. G.Holt to CIN 33 for 33 yards (R.Seigler).

Good field position, plenty of time.

1-10-CIN 33 (:55) C.Palmer pass incomplete short right to T.Houshmandzadeh.

Put your helmets on, here we go:

2-10-CIN 33 (:50) C.Palmer pass deep middle to C.Henry to PIT 20 for 47 yards (B.McFadden).

1-10-PIT 20 (:23) C.Palmer spiked the ball to stop the clock.

Great play by Henry but look how much time expires waiting for all the fat bodies to run down field, and then Palmer is extra cautious making sure they are lined up correctly. At least 15 extra seconds go by here, when all Lewis needs to do is call a timeout. Let everyone catch their breath, regroup, make sure your QB knows what plays you want to run. With at least 35 secs left (and maybe 40 if you are really quick) you can run 2 more plays, spike the clock and then kick the winning FG. But because he idiotically burned the timeout trying to ice the chip shot FG, Lewis only has one left and it appears he is afraid to use it. Critical mistake #2.

Timeout #3 by CIN at 00:22.

Yep, you just read that correctly. The game play-by-play doesn’t do this whole scenario justice. The Bengals were in total disarray and after spiking the ball Palmer looked to the sidelines looking for guidance but all he got was blank looks back. Lewis and the sideline appeared to be in shock that they might get the ball into scoring position so they had no game plan ready when they got there. I mean, you never plan on driving 50 yards in a minute to kick a winning FG, do you? Not something you ever practice, right? Players were shuttling on and off the field, no play was being called, and the play clock was winding down. Jeez, do you think a timeout as soon as Henry was tackled might have calmed things down? So as the play clock expires Palmer has to call the final timeout. The refs were actually very generous here as it looked like Palmer didn't call timeout in time. Critical mistake #3.

In hindsight, maybe a 5 yard penalty wouldn't have been so bad. Now you run a pass play (or two) and try and get 10 -15 more yards and then use your last timeout to set up your FG. Everything Cincy did here was awful, and just flat out wrong. Having said that, we are still in good shape, time for one play and then a spike to stop the clock and then a short FG by a reliable kicker Shayne Graham. A nice straight ahead run, should get a couple of yards. If you are really ballsy maybe even a short pass to get some more yards.

2-10-PIT 20 (:22) C.Palmer kneels to PIT 21 for -1 yards.

3-11-PIT 21 (:13) C.Palmer spiked the ball to stop the clock.

This is what you come up with after discussing things during the timeout? Lose a yard (play sheet is actually wrong as he lost 2 yards) and then hurry to the line and spike the ball, leaving 13 secs on the clock? Why don't you try to get a few more yards? Why don't you run the clock down to 5-6 seconds? Not exactly critical, but still it shows a totally disorganized coaching staff so I'm calling it Critical mistake #4.

Timeout #2 by PIT at 00:12.

Didn’t I just say icing the kicker doesn't work? I think Bill Cowher was hoping the timeout would confuse Cincy into thinking it was still 3rd down and maybe they spike the ball one more time.

4-11-PIT 21 (:12) S.Graham 39 yard field goal is No Good, Wide Right, Center-B.St. Louis, Holder-K.Larson.

Okay, so icing the kicker here worked, but you almost have nothing to lose here as you have 2 timeouts left and best case you only need 1 when you get the ball back with under 10 seconds to play. And let's face it, if Shayne Graham doesn't choke then all of this is a blur and the Bengals are in the playoffs and my friends and I are counting our money. And remember we are counting 50% more because the best case scenario has played out and Cincy is going to win by only 3 points so we win both bets. But nooooooo!

1-10-PIT 30 (:08) B.Roethlisberger kneels to PIT 29 for -1 yards.

END QUARTER 4

The rest is history as Pitt won the coin toss in overtime and only needed 3 plays to score a TD to win the game. Thanks Marvin.

Postscript: The next season WR Kelly Washington signs with the Patriots after 4 years with the Bengals. He is quoted after one of his first training camp practices saying he can't believe how they worked on all types of game situations in practice. He'd never done it before. What a shocker!!!

Hard to argue with him, right? Marvin deserves to be No. 1 for sure.

Did I miss anyone? 

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