The Daily Jolt's Week 6 picks

The NFL gets serious this week. If you don’t believe me, just step outside and feel the chill in the air. For those who don’t like being outside or are reading this column while trapped in an active volcano, please refer to any Web site that contains wild speculation about where fired head coaches will be coordinating next year. Nothing says fall football like a list of possible destinations for Dick Jauron.

Last week: 6-8

Year to date: 39-37

The O’Norval Factor Game of the Week

Denver (+4) over SAN DIEGO

APEverything's coming up Norval.

Balloon Boy not dying is the first break Norv Turner’s caught all year. Can you imagine what Rick Reilly would have done with that, especially if it turned out Falcon Heene had a favorite Champ Bailey jersey? This Broncos team is good enough already — imbue them with the spirit of a dead idiot and they’d be near unstoppable. (Related note: I’m going to go Flozell Adams on the next amateur media critic on Facebook or Twitter scolding the media for its Balloon Boy coverage. Why shouldn’t we get excited about it? It’s a hippie kid in a runaway hot-air balloon flying over the Rocky Mountains. That’s the very definition of a newsworthy story. Go back to your Charlie Rose fan fiction if you don’t like it.)

The Max Fisher “Tell That Stupid Mick He Just Made My List Of Things To Do Today” Rivalry Game of the Week

PITTSBURGH (-13½) over Cleveland

Derek Anderson’s two-completion performance last week in Buffalo was enough for Steve Doerschuk at CantonRep.com to bust out the “What if the Browns drafted Ben Roethlisberger in 2004?” alternate timeline. It’s truly schadenfreude-tastic. I don’t want it to spoil anything, but suffice it to say they conclude the team may have benefited from the presence of a two-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

The Homer Simpson “I’ve Seen Plays That Were More Exciting Than This…Honest To God, PLAYS” anti-Game of the Week

Kansas City (+6½) over WASHINGTON

Future scholars of the Burgundy Revolution may debate this point, but I maintain the snub of Gregg Williams during the 2008 offseason is ultimately what convinced Redskins fans to turn once for all on Daniel the Boy King. Before then, you could always make the “he’s one of us” argument. Every bad signing could be spun into a positive, an example of just how much Snyder cared. It’s impossible to overstate how much Sean Taylor’s death affected people in Washington, especially young people. It was another piece of random ugliness for a region that had gone through 9/11, the Beltway Sniper and the Anthrax scare. Taylor’s death had the biggest impact because everyone knew Sean Taylor. There was no counting your blessings that everyone you loved made it home safe. If the team’s subsequent playoff run was a blessing, then Joe Gibbs’ decision to step down after the season was a gift. I’ve always maintained Gibbs’ second retirement stemmed not from burnout but from his almost psychic relationship with the Norv Babies, that beleaguered generation of fans who began following the team just as Gibbs first left town. These were the people he came back for and the people he left again for. Gibbs knew how much we needed to see Williams — Taylor’s defensive coordinator and fiercest defender — take over as head coach. Taylor and Williams were synonymous with each other in Washington. You couldn’t talk about one without talking about the other. Passing on Williams sent a brutal message, one that can never be forgiven. You’re wrong to remember Sean. Hiring some guy from Seattle who couldn’t even get the team colors right only made things worse.

Murder Incorporated Mismatch of the Week

Philadelphia (-14) over OAKLAND

On the whole, I was disappointed by the Showtime documentary on the AFL. It’s one of those pieces of baby boomer catnip where anything cool or interesting that happened in America from 1960-1969 is broken up by footage of THE SIXTIES. That being said, the documentary contains a vital piece of information: Al Davis has the AFL logo on all three Raiders Super Bowl rings. No NFL shield. Just a big, defiant ‘A.’ I’m ashamed I didn’t know this. Honestly, former Raiders beat writers could make a fortune touring the country with an “Eccentricities of Al Davis” slideshow. At the very least they should be compiled into an online government database.

The Chris Farley “Do You Remember When You Were In The Beatles?” Man Crush Game of the Week

ATLANTA (-3) over Chicago

Overrated/underrated debates are an agreeable and pointless tradition of fandom, which is undoubtedly why so many bloggers have put on their introspective hats and churned out posts bemoaning the fact that their mere existence means the end of the improperly rated athlete. This is blamed on media bifurcation, a phenomenon people on the Internet like to cite as the real driving force behind every broad cultural trend of the past 20 years. Like all arguments based on pointless nostalgia, this one has certain flaws. How does adding more voices to a discussion make people less likely to overlook key information? It’s just more stuff for us to ignore. This is what makes Matt Ryan the most underrated player in the NFL. He’s got the one quality we’re doomed to perpetually overlook: He’s seamless. Like Warren Moon, he operates at a high level with such consistency as to seem mundane. Succeeding early was the worst thing that could have happened — he’s so good so early, nobody’s had the time to ask how good he is.

The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce Game of the Week

JACKSONVILLE (-10) over St. Louis

Don’t ask Dave Checketts about his business, Kay.

The “I’d Like Half My Winnings In Cash, And Half In Suitcases To Carry The Cash” Easy Money Game of the Week

CINCINATTI (-4½) over Houston

The Texans have been losing that Arizona game in some form or another for the past eight years. Failing to do so would deny them their reason to exist. The Bengals don’t have any choice but to win.

The Bildungsroman Game of the Week

Detroit (+14) over GREEN BAY

APThe only living boy in Detroit, MI.

Bold prediction: On Sunday, Matthew Stafford will earn his first career road win, enjoy a brief summer romance Kirsten Stewart and place an undue amount of significance on the memory of his sister feeding ducks in Central Park. BOOK IT.

Omar Little All In The Game Game of the Week

NEW ORLEANS (-3) over New York Giants

In keeping with my nature, I devoted the bulk of my time in New Orleans last weekend to undermining people’s confidence in the Saints as Super Bowl contenders. This was surprisingly difficult to do — save for grumbling at Sean Payton’s game management deficiencies, you’d think the team is coming off back-to-back Super Bowls. I couldn’t even get them worked up with the suggestion of a Drew Brees injury. They genuinely believe they can come out of the NFC with Chase Daniel at quarterback, a prediction that strikes me as foolhardy, inflammatory and probably accurate. So here we go.

The rest

TAMPA BAY (+3½) over Carolina

Baltimore (+3) over MINNESOTA

SEATTLE (-3) over Arizona

NEW YORK JETS (-10) over Buffalo

NEW ENGLAND (-9) over Tennessee

Follow me on Twitter: RayGustini

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