Madden 10 is unquestionably the best sports video game of all time. The visuals are stunning, the game play is fluid and the rosters are up to date. It’s a video game you should comb your hair and put on a tie for. It’s perfect. And that’s a problem.
Freud’s notion of the Uncanny is familiar to anyone who has ever taken a freshman year psych course or read a review of Robert Zemeckis’ adaptation of “The Polar Express.” In a nutshell, it states that the closer something artificial comes to reality, the more disquieting it becomes. (This is why movies about talking babies are so scary.) It’s especially a problem for video games, where each new level of technological advancement only serves to remind people that they’re not really killing zombies. The newest installment of Madden outpaces the Uncanny. Pockets hold, fullbacks drop passes, and nothing good happens when you throw into triple coverage. Madden 10 doesn’t resemble anything so much as real life. And again, that’s a problem.
A girl broke up with me once when I was playing Madden. I remember it distinctly: I was rolling out with Daunte Culpepper when I got the text message. I checked my phone, registered the loss and still found Randy McMichael in the back of the end zone for the go-ahead touchdown. I think it all happened in the space of 1.5 seconds. Even more depressing than the idea that this actually happened is the notion that it might not happen again. You can’t make throws on the run in the new Madden. Tight ends don’t slip behind defenders the way they have in every football video game since the dawn of Atari. I haven’t experienced it yet, but odds are that if a girl texts you your walking papers in the middle of a play, your QB has the presence of mind to chuck the ball out of bounds. I’m not allowed to complain since this is what I’ve always wanted. I just don’t understand how something so perfect can be so boring.
Comments
Add a CommentSorry to be a super nerd, but the theory you're referring to is called the "Uncanny Valley," propagated by Japanese scientist Masahiro Mori. While an outgrowth of Freud, it incorporates technological elements Freud couldn't have foreseen at the turn of the 20th century. It also explains why I hated that Final Fantasy movie.
Well, this year's Madden is FAR from perfect but I haven't had any troubles finding my tight-end playing as the Jets. Over the middle passes seem ridiculously easy this year and the Madden Gods have given Keller's gloves made of stickum- he just doesn't not catch the ball.
The start of your last paragraph is one of the best things I've read on the internet in some 17 years of semi-residential browsing.
The effect you're describing reminds me of Borges' On Exactitude in Science (see https://notes.utk.edu/bio/greenberg.nsf/0/f2d03252295e0d0585256e120009adab?OpenDocument for instance).
"I just don’t understand how something so perfect can be so boring."
Great break-up line. Are you reading from your phone?
I haven't played the new Madden. I probably will in a few years, as I wait until the games a a merely moderately overpriced $10 until I buy them. I get some entertainment out of how comically bad a game is that they have had 20 years to fix.
If EA ever doubled their effort, they might make a half-assed game.
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Aug 18, 2009
05:10 PM
Damn my girlfreidn broke up with me while i was playing madden throw a text, i was playing against the packers and had just run a 25 yard TD.