Thanks for the memories? Not when it comes to Shawn Andrews. Andrew Brandt
Welcome to this week’s edition of “What They Say and What They Mean.”
Eagles coach Andy Reid, on the release of former first-round pick Shawn Andrews:
“We appreciate the efforts and contributions of Shawn while he was in Philadelphia.”
We wish Shawn made more efforts and contributions while he was in Philadelphia.
Andrews, tweeting his response about whether he’ll play again:
“U bet chur sweet Bippy”
If someone’s going to pay me after my injuries and absences, you bet your sweet Bippy I’ll play again.
Mike Bell’s agent, on the offer sheet signed by the Saint with the Eagles:
“Mike's going from one Super Bowl-caliber team to another.”
The Saints told me they’re not going to match the offer.
LaDainian Tomlinson, on leaving the Chargers:
“It was time to move on. That wasn't the type of team that benefited my style.”
They told me it was time to move on and I should find another team that benefited my style.
Jake Delhomme, on signing with the Browns:
“I had to decide if I wanted to still try to compete or if I wanted to hold a clipboard.”
I assumed I’d be holding a clipboard somewhere collecting my $13 million from the Panthers, but these guys are giving me another $7 million and a chance to start? I signed before they could change their minds.
Derek Anderson, in choosing the Cardinals over the Seahawks, on what he was told coming in about competing with Matt Leinart:
“My job will be to push Matt and make him better, too.”
My job will be to take over if/when Matt plays poorly.
Texans owner Bob McNair, on his team possibly appearing on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”:
“I've let them (NFL Films) know we're interested, and perhaps this will be the year.”
We need to get some more people following this team, even though we haven’t made the playoffs. Let’s let HBO sell us.
Jets owner Woody Johnson, on the coin toss to decide who would host the first game at the Jets/Giants new stadium:
“I was told that a coin toss had taken place at the league office and that the Jets had lost.”
How about rock/paper/scissors?
Agent for 49ers GM Scot McCloughan, who is rumored to be leaving the team:
“He has not resigned and has no plans to resign.”
If he resigns, he won’t get the rest of the money on his contract. If they want him out, they would have to terminate him (his contract, not him).
A report that Terrell Owens wants at least $5M to play this season”
It doesn’t hurt to ask!
Follow me on Twitter: adbrandt
To read more about the Houston Texans and QB Matt Schaub, check out this article from Bleacher Report.
Jets owner Woody Johnson, on the coin toss to decide who would host the first game at the Jets/Giants new stadium:
“I was told that a coin toss had taken place at the league office and that the Jets had lost.”
What Roger Goodell wants to say: "You better not be complaining - you decided to go halfsies with the Giants on a stadium. Deal with it. Cheapskate."
While not on par with "Eight in the Box" (man, do I miss that) thanks for taking my eyes off watching our republic form of government fall apart-if for but a brief moment.
Scout:
"Tebow looked stiff, couldn't make throws, reverted to keeping the ball low when he was pressured."
What he meant:
"Wes Bunting wouldn't know an NFL QB if he had a studio in the HOF."
"they would have to terminate him (his contract, not him)."
(Enter Ted Thompson): "Come with me if you want to live."
Love this stuff! My suggestion would be to make this part of a post that contains more stuff about contracts etc. so that it doesn't get too old too fast. I'd love to hear some historical stuff about how contracts have evolved - might give us a good idea of why the current situation is so messy (at least it seems to me to be messy).
LaDainian Tomlinson, on leaving the Chargers:
“It was time to move on. That wasn't the type of team that benefited my style.”
It’s not like I got cut. I’m still the best back in football.
Jake Delhomme, on signing with the Browns:
“I had to decide if I wanted to still try to compete or if I wanted to hold a clipboard.”
I’m not sure I can compete for holding a clipboard, but I’m game.
Derek Anderson, in choosing the Cardinals over the Seahawks, on what he was told coming in about competing with Matt Leinart:
“My job will be to push Matt and make him better, too.”
I’d rather push for Arizona Matt’s leftover babes than Seattle Matt’s.
Texans owner Bob McNair, on his team possibly appearing on HBO’s “Hard Knocks”:
“I've let them (NFL Films) know we're interested, and perhaps this will be the year.”
With my connections to the Free Enterprise Institute, the great American George W. Bush, Sheik Mohammed, Enron, and Texas, who better to represent NFL football?
Jets owner Woody Johnson, on the coin toss to decide who would host the first game at the Jets/Giants new stadium:
“I was told that a coin toss had taken place at the league office and that the Jets had lost.”
I was told pigs fly, but you don’t see me ordering pork wings, do you?
Agent for 49ers GM Scot McCloughan, who is rumored to be leaving the team:
“He has not resigned and has no plans to resign.”
Boy, how can I make this mess look clean? Change the subject, change the subject, change the subjectl!
I love these type of columns from Andrew. It is so funny! Please keep them coming.
Jake Delhomme: "I'm lucky the supply and demand for QBs in the NFL still allows me to get on the shelf considering the Panthers saw my expiration date performance repeatedly last season. If Cleveland had other options, it sure didn't explore them well. Good luck reviving my career with an average offense. But, hey: For $7 million, I'll take a little embarrassement."
Great stuff! Truth masked in entertainment...I LOVE it! The Jake Delhomme one was priceless. I thought about trying my hand with a quote/translation of my own but GeeJay took my Joy away...
wow how the hell did he get this job? he basically just rephrased what those people said. no seriously, how did you get this job i really wanna know. is there a requirement? where do i apply? cause i gotta be honest with ya, this piece of shit you call an article is pathetic.
Mar 19, 2010
01:00 PM
Thanks for the post, seems like you are having a little fun with this effort
Andrew, can you comment on the concept of players eschewing their workout bonuses ?
Right now the NFLPA and the players are battling over percentages of revenue they receive, and suggesting they need more from the owners
Yet we keep hearing about players like DJ Williams foregoing 6 figure bonuses...
"Broncos linebacker D.J. Williams is choosing not to earn a $100,000 workout bonus so he can train in Miami in the offseason."
Doesn't it make it harder for the players to cry hardship when they cannot be bothered to show up for $100k?
Wouldn't this suggest they are being very well-compensated for their play ?