Concussions. We talk about them in the NFL like they are routine, almost part of the culture that drives this game, or drives this violence we watch every Sunday.
But, they are an issue. An issue that needs to be talked about from my point of view.
I’ve had concussions, most likely dating back to my high school days at Glenbard West High School in Glen Ellyn, Illinois when I was running the option. Sure, there is hitting in high school football, and it takes a step up in the college game; but in the National Football League, the helmet to helmet collisions happen every game—sometimes every practice—and they are going to end player’s careers, or worse, debilitate their lives.
I started getting headaches, mostly in the morning, during my career in the NFL. But, were they just headaches from stress, overwork, and the constant rattling of my brain inside my helmet? Or, and I hate to even imagine this, were they something worse? I was knocked unconscious when my Hawkeyes traveled to Tucson in college to take on Arizona. A knee to the side of the head and that was it—lights out. I vomited the entire way home on the plane, but I was out there the next week in Champaign, making tackles until I couldn’t do it anymore in the fourth quarter. The headache became too extreme. What about the NFL? Every time you tackle an NFL running back in the hole, it is most likely the equivalent of being in a car accident—a head on car accident during rush hour. Stars form in between your eyes, your speech becomes slurred, and you wobble your way back to the huddle—hoping your brain resets itself before the next play.
During the 2003 season in Washington, I experienced a concussion like no other that still haunts me. Playing the deep half of a Cover 2 shell in the first quarter, I reacted to a screen pass to Seattle fullback Mack Strong. A 20-yard head start—for the both of us—that met head on at the goal line. The collision was so perfect, so sequenced, that we both fell backwards. I did my job, keeping Strong out of the end zone, but the ramifications were brutal. I immediately put a hand up, took myself out of the game. I can’t remember making it to the sideline, but what happened next still baffles me…
The next play I made was late in the second quarter. I tackled Seahawks wide receiver Koren Robinson on a 15-yard dig route. Sounds simple, but, in reality, it wasn’t. You see, Robinson “appeared” in front of me, so I reacted, made the tackle, and put my hand up again as I walked—slowly—to the sideline. I had no idea how I got to this point. The last quarter and a half, I had been playing NFL football—the highest level in this profession—and couldn’t remember a single play. I sat on the bench, dazed, completely out of it, and came to—in the third quarter. I hadn’t moved. Folks, they happen every weekend in this league. It still baffles me that NASCAR drivers can hit the wall going over 200-mph and walk away--without a headache. How many more concussions can someone like Steelers' safety Troy Polamalu take before his career comes to a crashing hault?
I started, and played, the next Sunday in Carolina. I even had an interception off Jake Delhomme. But, should I have been out there?
Don’t even think of hanging this on the training staffs of the NFL, because these guys are the best in the business. I played because I told them, the doctors, and my soon-to-be wife, that I could. And that, my friends, is what it comes down to.
But, what about now? I turned 32-years old yesterday. I will have my Masters Degree in June. I have headaches. In fact, I am scheduled to take a MRI of my brain in the coming weeks—just as a precaution—but, I’m still putting my skull under a microscope. Why? Because I played professional football. I sacrificed my twenties to encounter helmet-to-helmet hits every Sunday. The question remains, and always will remain when it comes to my own feelings about concussions: was it worth it?
I won’t be able to tell you that, but I can tell you this, ladies and gentlemen: I am a father, a husband, and I have two little boys under the age of 2-years old—one who was born with Down syndrome and will need his Daddy for a long time. If I ever have to change my lifestyle because I took too many hits to the head during my career, I will be forever remorseful.
In fact, I will never forgive myself…
I understand. Although I'm not a football player, I received my concussion (mild traumatic brain injury) from a motor vehicle accident 8 years ago. Things seemed fine until I couldn't function anymore and I underwent several tests that ended up concluding that I had in fact a MTBI.
I'm a lawyer and this damaged my career. I'm still discovering symptoms every day that I had not noticed before. The irony of this injury is that everyone sees you as perfectly fine, you can walk, talk and act like anyone else until something drastic happens to significantly set you back.
The problem I have with these injuries in sports is that the athletes will not notice a drastic change until they're retired and end up on the job market. It makes you wonder why a lot of them end up with significant problems for the rest of their lives from alcoholism, depression to behavior problems. One thing is certain, things will not be the same and it is devastating on so many levels. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
Lou- Thanks for the thoughts...
Hey Matt, thanks for the article. Being a Bills fan I think part of the problem with Trent Edwards is his recent concussion. Since he's come back he hasn't been the same. And as he goes so go the Bills.
Nice post Matt
Very insightful Matt. Thanks for sharing something so personal with us.
Great reveal Matt! For any of those who are envious or critical for the amount of money NFL players make, they need to read this post. Playing football is a physical sacrifice with the serious possibility of long term handicaps.
The NFL and the NFLPA have to keep pushing equipment makers to continually improve the helmet.
Matt, you forget to mention all the concussions you dealt out as well.
BOBD- Concussions are tough on quarterbacks. Rememeber the hit Lavar Arrington put on Aikman? Ended his career--and yes, they take time to recover from. Plus, it can lead to bad decisions, becasue the QB wants to get the ball out of his hands at all costs.
Lot of mental anxiety after a concussion.
JB- I hear you on that my friend....
I did give out a few from the safety spot, but again, it is a two-way street. I felt those hits too.
Interesting stuff Matt. Makes you wonder if all those "soft" players who run out of a bounds or dive down (think of Marvin Harrison) that the announcers denounce don't have a better idea of what they are doing. Maybe that extra yard after you've already gotten the first isn't all its cracked up to be.
Good post Matt.
My favorite post yet! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! I think that this issue needs to be addressed and dealt with by the league, because of the seriousness and long-term ramifications it has on you and your family(as well as all other current and former players and families)!! Great information and writing!!
Matt, you can't honestly blame yourself for going hard in the NFL despite having your bell wrung. You know the NFL athlete better than we do. You're taught that if you can stand upright, you can play. Every single play that you're not involved with is simply someone else's chance to audition for your gig, which you busted your butt every day, most of your entire life to get.
I'm just a year younger than you and I never played in any professional sports, but I do know that in your 20's, you don't possess the life experiences needed in order to adequately think ahead 10 or 15 years down the line. Also, remember, concussions and Concussion Snydrome was not a hot topic until recently. You were just fighting and grinding for the right to earn a living doing the very thing you love.
Hindsight is always 20/20, my good man. Happy Birthday to ya, and all the best to your wife and sons.
Matt - Wow... Happy B-Day! You guys really need to reorganize your website as this is some of the best football content on the web but so much goes up so fast it's almost impossible to keep up and not miss stuff - great article!
Regarding the last two sentences, e-mail me when you get a chance for a bit of perspective on this.
matt: i suffered 3 concussions playing rb in high school. 1 in soph year, 2 in jr year. senior year they finally gave me a new revolution helmet and it worked for 5 games, then i broke my leg. i love football. colleges tried to convince me to continue but i decided too take a couple years off before i consider playing again. my point is when you love something, its tough enough to give it up, but when you you can make a living doing something you love, well you can't say no. NO REGRETS. ONE DAY AT A TIME. CHERISH EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY WITH YOUR FAMILY!
Thanks for sharing Matt. I wish more players were as open and honest as you have been. As a pediatric & adolescent sports medicine physician, I have found it very difficult to explain and educate people (athletes, parents, coaches, teachers, etc) on understanding the significance of concussion and the severity of the injury (after all it is a brain injury).
It's articles like this that help my cause because hearing the symptoms and anxiety about concussion from a player of your caliber resonates very loudly with the current young athletes. Thanks again.
PS: CJ (and others) - don't let the Revolution helmet fool you. It does NOT prevent concussions.
There is no great science behind it decreasing the risk or incidence of concussion. It might be better than the standard helmet, but you still need to recognize all the signs and symptoms of concussion and report to an experienced doctor if you think you have a concussion.
Matt:
Could you do an article about helmet makers and why someone hasn't come up with a more cutting edge solution to the problem. There has got to be a design that would do a better job of stopping the eggs from getting scrambled.... yet we don't see it.
I remember Willie Lanier having a kind of double helmet.
Also there are some designs being done on mouthpieces to stop concussions since a lot of the shock is amplified thru the jaw.
Matt,
One of the stories that comes to mind for me is Ted Johnson of the Patriots. One of the major contributors to his situation is the fact that he was put back out (against his wishes) in place of healing time. I'm a huge Pat's fan (I hate seeing anyone else wear #52 in fact) so I'm not laying anything on Belichick, but the acceptance of concussions has to be treated better at the coaching level. I know there are economics involved but damaging players beyond repair will not fix anything.
Hopefully this is becoming more understood at that level.
Also, Ted Johnson suffered numerous concussions and apparently didn't tell anyone on the Patriots about them. He was too afraid of being seen as an injury liability. That's a tough situation to be put in.
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This summer, Patriots second rounder Chad Jackson had all of his usual skills -- speed, soft hands -- except his brain didn't seem to be working. He couldn't seem to remember his routes. He got cut.