Lost in translation

After a long holiday weekend starting the summer of 2010, here is another weekly feature taking a look at the news of the NFL with another edition of what they say followed by what they mean:

Jared Allen, on shaving his mullet for his upcoming wedding:

The things men do for love.

<p> If my game suffers, goodbye love, hello mullet!

Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss, on looking to expand his income opportunities:

To all the agents out there, I'm a free man. That’s what I’m looking for right now, that off-the-field money.

I know the Patriots are going to move one from me like they have so many others. Shoot, they haven't even re-signed Tom. Where's Arliss?

Titans coach Jeff Fisher, on being asked to attend the football camp of star running back Chris Johnson, who has not reported for workouts:

He invited me to participate in his football camp, but I told him I'd like for him to participate in mine.


Titans tight end Bo Scaife, on finally reporting to the team workouts:

I love the Titans and my teammates. … There are no hard feelings. I am glad to be back.

They told me I’m not getting a new deal if I don’t show up. Did I tell you I love the Titans?

Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, the second pick in the 2010 Draft, on his coming contract negotiations with the team:

I definitely don’t want to hold out.

I saw what they gave Stafford. If the Lions show me the money, I’ll be there with bells on.

Raiders attorney Jeff Birren, on the team’s attempt to recover some of the $39 million paid to Jamarcus Russell:

We have filed a grievance against JaMarcus Russell and that’s all we’re going to say at this time.

This guy stole $39 million from us. We may not have much of a case, but we’re going to be the ones doing the stickup now.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, on the possibility of more cold-weather Super Bowls after New York:

New York is a very unique opportunity for us.

New York is the only cold-weather site getting a Super Bowl.

Panthers owner Jerry Richardson, on the team’s more frugal ways:

The years when we were big players in free agency did not seem to turn out as well.

Making noise in March usually doesn’t mean making noise in January. I’m going to hold my wallet more now.

Chiefs receiver Dwayne Bowe apologizing for comments to ESPN Magazine about “importing” women to the team hotel during a road game:

My words are my words, and it was misunderstood. The way he took it was totally not the way that I said it.

Darn ESPN the Mag!

The head of the Miami Super Bowl bid, Rodney Barreto, on losing the game to New York:

The fix was in for New York. We threw $1 million extra on the table.

Glad they didn’t take our bid. That was my $1 million!

Vikings marketing director Steve LaCroix, on the team selling memberships to a club adjacent to the Metrodome to add revenue:

It does not create a stadium solution or satisfy things for the long term. But it would help bridge the gap for the next couple of years.

We’re doing what we can while we’re stuck in this place and the state won’t give us funding. Hold on, I gotta take a call from Los Angeles….

Rams owner Chip Rosenbloom, on the potential purchase of his interest in the Rams from Stan Kroenke, despite some cross-ownership issues:

We're happy that we have such a good friend in Stan and that St. Louis has such a good friend in Stan.

He’ll pay the most for the team.

Ravens’ fullback Le’Ron McClain, initiating a Twitter campaign to get more carries:

I want you to vote McClain 4 RB.

Hey, I know what fullbacks make. I want running back money!

The lawyer for a stripper dumped by Albert Haynesworth who, after he learned she was pregnant, rebuffed her attempt to receive payment:

This man is worth millions. She has had to apply for Medicaid to take care of her pregnancy.

Sorry, Albert, but that was some expensive sex you had with my client.

The agent for arrested Chargers safety Kevin Ellison, who was found with 100 Vicodin tablets in the console of his car:

He thought it was a good idea to get enough painkillers to last the season.

He’s not addicted. Doesn’t everyone carry around 100 pills of Vicodin?

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